I wasn’t even planning on messaging him. Funny how that happens. Last night wasn’t supposed to happen at all. I thought he wasn’t coming because he’d been drinking, so I just let it go and went about my night. He showed up anyway. Seeing him walk in made me smile. There wasn’t any awkwardness or weird energy. He came in, took his shirt off, slid his pants off with his shorts underneath, and just settled in with me. Like he always does. Like he wasn’t a guest. Like being there with me was normal. That’s what I like so much about him. Nothing feels forced. No matter how long it’s been, we just kind of fall right back into each other.

We spent our time laughing, teasing each other, laying next to each other. I kept thinking how easy it is to want to be close to him. Not because I need anything from him, I just genuinely enjoy him. I enjoy his company. I enjoy his energy. I enjoy the way he makes everything feel calm. Months can go by without hearing from him, but when we’re together, I don’t feel like his mind is somewhere else. I don’t feel like he’s rushing through the moment. I don’t feel like he’s trying to get in and get out. He’s just there. Present. Comfortable. Relaxed. That’s something I’ve always noticed about him.

There were moments where I caught myself smiling over the little things. I joked around and asked him if he missed me. He laughed and admitted he did. Then I started teasing him about whether it was a little bit or a lot of bit, and he just laughed at me. Those stupid little conversations are probably my favorite part. Nothing serious. Nothing heavy. Just us being us. I wasn’t thinking about tomorrow or trying to figure out where I stand with him. I wasn’t thinking about forever. I was just enjoying him. Enjoying the fact that he stayed. Enjoying the fact that he wanted to be next to me. Enjoying how comfortable everything felt.

Before he left, I joked that I’d probably see him around the middle of next month since he’s going to North Carolina, and he laughed. We walked to the hallway door together, and I looked over at him with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. I reached over, pulled it out, and kissed him. He laughed and told me not to break his cigarette, and I handed it right back. Such a stupid little moment, but those are always the moments that stay with me. Nothing dramatic. Nothing life changing. Just little jokes, little kisses, little laughs.

He kissed me goodbye again and left, and I wasn’t sad. I wasn’t wondering if I’d hear from him tomorrow. I wasn’t trying to hold onto him. I just stood there smiling, thinking about how much I enjoyed his presence. Thinking about how good our time together was. Thinking about how strange it is that months can go by without talking, and somehow when we’re together, it feels like no time has passed at all. Truthfully, I think he’s the only person I genuinely like. Not because of promises or potential. I just like him. I like the comfort. I like how playful we are together. I like how easy it feels. Maybe that’s why I don’t want to chase him afterward. I had a really good time. I got to experience him again, and right now, that feels like enough.